Boo Weekley and John Daly: A Dialogue

Posted: Tue Apr 22 7:41 PM

By Gerard Gallagher, Golf Editor

Philadelphia, PA (Sports Network) - Boo Weekley won the Verizon Heritage for the second year in a row on Sunday, playing to a steady chorus of "Boos!" while he managed just an even-par 71 in the final round at Harbour Town.

Weekley, the plain-spoken hunting enthusiast from the Florida panhandle, has become a gallery favorite on the PGA Tour. Not the type of favorite that Tiger Woods is -- dominant, a spectacle to watch -- but more along the lines of John Daly -- the so-called "everyman" fans love to root for.

Which got us thinking: What would a conversation between two of the most quotable golfers alive sound like? Well, it might go a little something like this.

(Note: Most of the lines are actual quotes, gathered from interview transcripts, stories written about the players, and, in Daly's case, from books and songs. Some transitional words, pleasantries and questions were fabricated for the purposes of the piece. All the interesting bits are real.)

Cast of Characters:

JOHN DALY: Five-time PGA Tour winner, two-time major champion, drinker, gambler, smoker, smasher of golf balls, four-times divorced.

BOO WEEKLEY: Two-time PGA Tour winner, hunter, tobacco-chewer, also a smasher of balls.

Location - A bar, Hilton Head.

The conversation:

JOHN DALY: Congratulations, Boo.

BOO WEEKLEY: Thank you.

JD (to the bartender): A beer.

BW: How'r things?

JD: My life is upside-down right now. No matter what I do, it's wrong. I'm thinking of writing a new song. I'll call it, "I guess it's my fault, even when it's not my fault."

BW: I reckon that as long as you are being yourself, you can't go wrong.

JD: I guess. Heard you left a couple'a bullets in your carry-on bag headed to the Mercedes Benz Championship this year?

BW: Yeah. I reckon I just left two bullets way down in the bottom of it. I couldn't find them, and they found them on that screen. I just sat there and shook my head like I was an idiot, you know? They said they were going to red flag me -- to get ready for what's going to happen for every time I fly now.

JD: Missed you at the Masters.

BW: Yeah ... wait, I was there. You weren't there.

JD: Nah, I wasn't there. Ain't been there since '06.

BW: It was my first time. Just another golf course. What's Amen Corner, anyway? Is it 12? Why is that a corner? It should be 12, 13, and 14, shouldn't it? They got me there.

JD: Good grub over there.

BW: We just cooked some pork chops.

JD: You cook?

BW: It depends. My brother-in-law cooked the hamburgers the first night, so I got stuck with the pork chops.

JD: Any vegetables?

BW: I don't know. I'm a meat and tater man. I ain't much on no vegetables.

JD: I believe nicotine plus caffeine equals protein.

BW: That's funny. You watch me on TV?

JD: A little. Saw you tied for 20th at the Masters. Watched a little of your win today, too. You've stolen some of my following. Saw they supported you pretty good there at Augusta. But some of them were saying, "Way to go, Bo!"

BW: Yeah, well they don't understand the last "O" I guess.

JD: Could be worse. I'm drunk, damn broke and ain't got a penny to my name.

BW: Yeah?

JD: All my exes wear Rolexes.

BW: I heard that before. But you been practicing?

JD: A little. There are probably some things I could do to keep my flexibility up, but I'd rather smoke, drink Diet Cokes and eat.

BW: You got to be practicing, though. My fans are still your fans first, and I reckon they'd like to see you back out there.

JD: I suppose. Nobody can know what's in my heart. Nobody can know what I'm thinking. But I know what I've got to do.

BW: What's been the problem? The usual stuff?

JD: Seems I used to do everything like I was on a mission. If it was alcohol, I wanted to drink till I couldn't see straight. If it was golf, I wanted to beat everybody's brains out. If it was driving, I can get there faster than you can. I was stubborn as hell. I had no direction.

BW: Most of the time I'd just rather be huntin', you know? Or fishin'.

JD: Hey, I got my trailer outside. We could go now.

BW: Yeah? I reckon I'd like that.

JD: We'll get a sixer for the road.

BW: I heard a story you drove through a bunch of red lights one time, all in a row. That true? Heard you drove through one, then figured you'd just blow through 'em all.

JD: Yup, it's true.

BW: We can take my car.

JD: Bartender ...